areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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