we have officially lost it.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
