I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
