Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
