I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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