Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
