Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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