we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
