And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
