the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
