Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
