just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
