I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
