I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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