You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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