I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
