awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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