found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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