One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
