im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
