actually, I'm a sock model
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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