ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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