don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
