I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
