also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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