Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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