That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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