oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
