we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
