So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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