there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
