I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
