im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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