I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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