both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
