Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
