You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
