On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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