She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
