No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
