Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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