TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
There are leaves in my underwear?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
