I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
