Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
