Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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