you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
