U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
