Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
