I CAN MOONWALK!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
