the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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