he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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