I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
